Stop Thinking You Need To Do The Most To Get A Man

Happy Valentine’s Day. Since it is February and we have made it to the month of love, chocolate and flowers. I thought that now would be a good time to discuss this “how to keep/get a man” tom-foolery I have been seeing on timelines. The other day I just so happen to scroll past a woman tweeting that she would cook, clean, do laundry and wait for it … clean her man’s feet and pick out each and every bone in his meat. Weeks ago, I saw another women giving a list of commandments saying things like, “Ladies it’s not that hard, all you need to do is not nag when your man comes home, give him a massage, run his bath water, cook a full course meal every night and blah blah blah *insert other slave/submissive duties here*.

(Now let’s not get it twisted if you have a good man that has been good to you from the start and not problematic at all and you want to do those things for him, not feeling like you need to, then this doesn’t apply. But just remember, never get too comfortable.)

Ladies, let me be the one to break it to you, and pay attention cause I’m only going to say this once. You can go to the ends of the earth, end world-hunger, cook like ratatouille, read the entire bible, switch up your looks, clean like a maid service and wash/fold underwear all day long, if a man wants to cheat on you, he will. If a man isn’t ready for a commitment, following a ‘how to keep a man’ to-do list won’t make him commit. If a man has the intent to play or use you, nothing will stop him, he will continue to play and use you like 2k, if you allow it.

We as women have got to stop thinking that men are clueless and have no idea of what they want. Some people tend to make excuses like “men’s minds are wired differently” or “he’s a man, he just doesn’t get it” or “he just doesn’t know, you have to break it down for him.” EHHHH WRONG! Trust and believe guys are very aware of their actions, they know who they want, want they want, when they want it and what their intentions are within the first interaction you. They are not dumb, confused or clueless ladies, they play the clueless role most of the time to receive what they can get from you in that moment, whether emotionally, physically, financially or spiritually. The moral of the story is, never force it, always always always do you, never change or act a certain way to be the chosen one. You can’t change anyone. If it goes well, cool, if not that’s cool too. Move on.

Let’s look at some of our favorite celebrities, shall we? Cardi B is testament to this, she got her man to propose simply by being herself, she didn’t follow any rules (even though he a cheater, but she doesn’t care, so neither should we). Queen Bey is the the most beautiful and successful woman ever, ol’ boy still creeped around and found a way to cheat on her (with who, idk?), because he wanted to, and this is just to name a few.

Let me just use this last paragraph to set the record straight, there are some great men out here, so this post does not apply to all men. But just as there are good men out here, there are men who aren’t so good. Those are the ‘F Boys’ most women talk about. Those are the ones we need to curve at ALL cost, and no i’m not a single bitter black woman that walks around with a chip on my shoulder (you know because people love to attack and label somebody for stating valid opinions). I simply want to use my blog and platform to inform and empower women like myself to glow in all areas … even dating.

With that being said, bless up ladies.

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